Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Day

“Your deep well of positive energy helps keep the day fun for you and entertaining for your people -- make sure that you keep things moving along! Your energy is just right for attracting attention.” - canada.com


I did not know that positive energy stemmed from drinking a quart of whisky and smoking too many cigarettes on New Years Eve. Personally, I call that a fucking hangover. A hangover so severe that I was only able to stop dry-heaving 20 minutes after I managed to hold down a beer (took three attempts).

But sure, I guess counting the shit stains in the bottom of my toilet bowl while trying to figure out if I’m going to heave-ho or not is great fun.

‘Your people’. I haven’t the foggiest clue who the donkey balls ‘my people’ are. I’ll go ahead and assume my dog. I have no idea how neglecting to feed my dog because I can barely move is fun for her. Not to mention that she seems to think that my retching in the bathroom is me yelling at her.

Keep things moving along? Beer in hand, check.

Again with the energy horse-shit! WHAT FUCKING ENERGY? I’m dying of a god-dammed hangover you cock-slapped horoscope!

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